April 7, 2003

THE MEANDERINGS OF SMIDGE SAMUELSON
Epilogue: Some Reflections

When I started writing about Smidge Samuelson, I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew where I’d end up. That’s why I referred to his life story as “meanderings.”

Our English word “meander” comes from the Greek name of a river in western Turkey. This river followed a winding course down a long, broad valley. The Greeks coined a word from the name of the river to describe action that wanders all over the place, instead of going in a straight line.

Smidge Samuelson’s life was not in a straight line. Yes, he lived his last years as a believer and ultimately died in the faith. But his early years wandered all over the place—full of mistakes, false starts dead-ends.

Just like many of us. We’d like to be able to say that, from the cradle to the grave, we have understood God’s will and followed it in a straight line. That’s the storybook Christian life, but it’s probably not your biography. Maybe you feel like a second-class Christian because of the “wasted years” before you accepted the Lord and began to follow him. Many years of meandering.

Here’s a wonderful fact about the Meander River: it wanders all over the place, but it gets to the ocean. And the meanderings of your life don’t matter, as long as you get to the Lord.

Actually, none of the precious water in the river is wasted. The winding of the river has the effect of irrigating a great deal of farmland along the way. Similarly, the meanderings of your life, which appear to be pointless and fruitless, might have been used by God in ways you can’t imagine. God is not wasteful, and he has been gracious in and through you even during the times when you have been unaware of him.

This is where Smidge and Smudge come in. Each of us has a Smidge—that part of us that always feels small, weak and inadequate. Each of us also has a Smudge—that part of us that always feels sinful, rebellious and dirty. Both Smidge and Smudge rightly feel unworthy of God’s love: we are too small for him to care about us; we are too damaged for him to want us. And yet, both Smidge and Smudge are valid parts of us and are embraced and transformed by God’s love.

Dr. Sandford Samuelson is also a genuine part of the person God saves. True, he is somewhat artificial, being the product of a number of external forces, such as environment, education, society’s expectations. Yet, he is also the result of some real, solid choices made during the meanderings. He is one expression of who this person really is. But he can’t take himself too seriously, as if he has eclipsed Smidge and Smudge and replaced them. To his last breath, those two will be alive and well.

Maybe you identify with one part of this story and not another. Maybe none of it sounds like your life history. Whatever are the particular details of your life, take comfort in this: the meandering river of your life will finally get to the ocean of God’s eternal love. Praise him.

–Pastor George Van Alstine